The possibility of emotional abuse is a red flag too, I hope you pay attention to it. I really encourage you to listen to your gut instincts.

Is it possible that you are exhausted? Are you getting enough sleep, good food, exercise?

Are you possibly trying to run ahead of some difficult feelings? Are you trying to escape and deny something? You might be doing some things you don't really want to do as a coping mechanism.

Are there some good things in your life you can focus more on? Healthy interests?