yes its not so easy as one trigger. I hurt myself because I am depressed and all the self loathing that goes with it. I hurt myself because it makes me feel I am still alive and somehow not alone, though I am. I have some serious issues to deal with at the moment that I cant cope with and somehow this makes me cope. I and I hurt myself because its better that doing something more permenant.
But I want and need to stop and will find help for myself.

Hope you are ok malcontent.