Cydniey, I don't think it is healthy to be living with someone who has said they do not love you. I understand his work and health insurance are important to you now but I think you should be trying to set up your own household and move on with your life. You cannot "recover" if you stay focused on someone else and subservient to their life and livelihood.

I don't know how you met your husband and the two of you got together, but I suspect you were more independent and living your own life then. I imagine that is what your husband is wishing for, that you go toward the things you desire and that are important to you, are "self" supporting (whether through applying for disability or whatever) rather than merely depending on him and allowing a negative status quo to be "enough".