But a violent childhood full of abuse is no excuse, right?

He has absolutely no excuse, no good reason to treat you or anyone else badly.

Part of the pattern of an abuser is to blame others.

He can lash out at others, then kiss and make up, then create tension once again, continuing the abuse cycle round and round. He can have all sorts of explanations as to why he is supposedly a special case that must be treated like a king. Do you end up feeling like you have to walk on eggshells and make sure they never break or make the slightest bit of sound? Do you feel like you can't keep up with his mysterious demands and that surely something must be wrong with you?

He can continue this pattern or he could man up and get some help. He could get some therapy. My guess is he needs to participate in some anger management classes too. If he is so special and sensitive and wounded from his childhood shouldn't he live by himself til he gets stable?

Cause life isn't fair so the fact that his childhood wasn't fair is no excuse for him treating you badly.

Do you get enough time and space for your own thoughts and peace of mind? If not I encourage you to take time and space for yourself. Center your life around yourself, not the whims of a bully.

I probably sound passionate here, cause I feel for you and am concerned. And I especially hate when folks use their challenging childhood as an excuse to abuse others.