I can't give you advice on how to trust him again, because maybe it isn't safe to trust him. He needs to earn your trust.

Maybe this isn't a relationship that is going to work out. I suggest no matter what that you talk with someone, therapist or minister or other trained mental health person.

How are you doing yourself, how is your own mental and physical health? This is an important time to make double sure that you get enough sleep, rest, exercise, food.