I don't know if this is the right forum, or not. My husband left me after 15 years together. Though amicable, the separation was a complete surprise to me as I thought we were both happy with our relationship. It's been 18 months since he left and though he has a new life and a new girlfriend, I'm still have the pain and sadness of losing him. I don't want a life without him and nothing brings me joy now. I fake my way living through each day while a little more of me dies each day. I just want the pain to stop and I don't know how to make that happen without ending my life.