Hi Calie17,

I am so sorry you are feeling alone. I am really glad you posted, we are here for you.

Is it possible you might be trying to protect your boyfriend from this or is that he really doesn't want to know what's going on? Are you waiting until you know the the outcome of the test first to talk to him? In caring for you, I'd imagine he'll want to know to be able to be there for you.

I know how hard the waiting is; it leaves us to wonder about all the possibilities and what the worse could be. Do you have things you like to do, some kind of pleasant activities, preferably, or any activities to distract you while you are waiting? Staying busy with activities and more soothing ones is what I do now while waiting on tests and diagnoses because no matter what I think, it won't change the outcome of the test and I cannot do anything about it until I know something concrete. I'll just drive myself up a wall with the possibilities and will have spent a lot of time in fear, sometimes unfounded. Even if it is something to have been worried about, I couldn't have done anything about during that time anyway. The stress isn't worth it. Take extra special care of you right now!

Will be thinking about you. Keep us posted. Sending hugs in the meantime.
-Fresia