Perna, you must have missed Peaches' other thread She DID talk to her T in session about the email. There was face to face interaction about it. It wasn't made up.
Peaches, I hope you don't mind my clarifying the situation to Perna. I know you weren't quite satisfied with what your T said in your session and you started a thread about it. It's on page 2.
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I don't want to get my hopes up anymore that the child part of me will ever mean anything to anyone. All i do is blow up a big balloon of hope, only for it to pop later, and show me that in reality i am invisible and mean nothing.
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Your whole post, in my opinion, is black and white thinking. You KNOW you mean something to your T. She has shown it to you through the years.
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Because when my t and I talked about her brief, terse phone message saying she was too busy to respond, i said her tone of voice in her message was kind of cold and clinical. It did not sound warm, or like anything i'd said in my email message had touched her at all. And she admitted that when she called me, she was "completely in business mode." And her voice and tone, it just wasn't the same as it is during that hour. And it makes me wonder if the warmth during the hour is put on.
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Ts don't "put on" the warmth during the hour. But, yes, the hour is the time they set aside for us, and devote their entire attention to us. I know your T cares about you for more than that hour, but the time outside of therapy IS their time, not ours. No one works 24 hours/day. We don't want to think of our Ts as "working" when they are with us, but they are.
I know your T works very hard with you to give the needy child part what she needs during your session. But the goal, as you know, is for YOU to be able to give that to yourself. T can't be with us 24 hrs. a day.
That said, I do see your point about her response or lack of a warm response. It would have made you feel better if she would have responded the way you wanted her to. Maybe it would have been better therapy to do so, too. But she didn't. I'm sorry she disappointed you in that way.
I think it would be beneficial for you to discuss this more with her.
I can relate because when I finally called Bt one morning, very early to say "I think the baby stuff means I love you", she said "I hear you but I have to start my day." I was devastated. But of course we know that Bt said many hurtful things to me. Your T doesn't do that to you. The point is that neither of our Ts was trying to hurt us purposely. Sometimes they have to look out for their own interests before ours. We have to forgive them, just like we should forgive anyone who unintentionally hurts us.
Peaches, I think your hurt feelings are understandable. There's no right or wrong here. I do hope you'll talk more to your T about it.