Oh onomonapetia......it will pass for you, but right now, I'm in the same boat. I truly understand how you're feeling. This Bipolar business is beyond belief. Unlike you,I'm not able to get even the most mundane tasks started. My pdoc is telling me to exercise......my injuries from "the bad time" will hardly let me boil water, and my therapist is telling me to eat hard boiled eggs and salad. Not going to happen. My husband has to drive 1 1/2 hours to work everyday and 1 1/2 hours back. I feel like a baby bird waiting for the parent to return to the nest with food. Both are the usual suggestions and I know therapist and pdoc are looking for some way to help, but my situation is pretty extreme. I can relate totally to many of the things you wrote, but I know you will prevail. You'll find the med or combination of meds that will let you be the mother you want to be. This is just a moment in time, and I'm not trying to minimize it in any way......keep hanging in there......you have a lot going for you and you have a lot of strength to tap into, even though you're not seeing it right now. Those priorities in life (your husband and your daughter) will get you to where you want to be. If nothing else, I do understand and I'm keeping you in my thoughts......you will prevail.......greylove