I can relate. The past month I have felt absolutely terrific. No depression at all. No ups or downs. I feel very happy. My life couldn't be better.
I am on disability and I am afraid of it being taken away. I wonder what's going to happen the next time I see my pdoc and I tell her I feel great again? If I lose disability, I lose everything. My husband isn't working right now, so the disability is helping us both out, plus we are getting some benifits like food stamps.
I do not think I could go back to work, my symptoms would start right back up.
Anyway, yes I hear what you are saying. I don't think we should have to suffer, though.