Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
I've had some time to think about it. . .
and I just don't know if I can get past this latest rupture with my t.
maybe it seems like no big deal to some here. . .
but giving your heart over in an email. . .
telling your t how important your therapy is for you, and how much your t means to you. . .
and them saying "I don't have time to reply to this."
It's just . . . wrong.
To me, it's wrong.
I've tried to see it another way. I've been reading people's responses. i understand t's getting busy. And i even understand the "not doing therapy outside the office" policy and the concern over things not being confidential in email.
But to me, riding above all of that is the idea of Basic Human Kindness.
In my heart, i don't think it's right, when somebody expresses some kind of heartfelt attachment feelings, for the other person to fail to respond with "I'm too busy to respond to this."
|
(((((((((((peaches)))))))))))))
i also think you your feelings are something to explore further with T. i hear so much pain in your post and i'm so sorry for that. but, i think your pain is distorting what really happened. this is what you said in your other email:
Quote:
|
all she did was call and tell me she wasn't going to reply today because she was too busy and she had to pick up her sister from the hospital
|
peaches, do you think you can notice how you've completely truncated what she originally said down to "i'm too busy to respond to this"? she was too busy to respond to your email
at that time. that is just saying hey, my sister is getting out of the hospital and i
will respond but i can't right now because i'm dealing with a quite sick family member. she was likely very concerned about her sister and giving her full attention to her as i think she needed to. she was calling to reassure you she would respond when she had a free moment. she wasn't saying she wouldn't respond at all as you seem to now be thinking. what you have remembered her saying is not the whole story of what happened. is it possible you are so scared as to how she will respond that you unconsciously create these ruptures so she doesn't ever get to respond? that is just a guess on my part so if it doesn't fit please disregard it.
i don't think anyone can be there for us in life 24/7 exactly as we would like, but your T is not like your mom who obviously neglected you. when you mentioned awhile back that your T plans on continuing to see you after she retires that to me shows she cares about you so very, very much. that is just a huge thing for any T to do and i think it really shows her true colors. how many other Ts would do that? i'm guessing none or 1 or 2 at the absolute most. i think sometimes we've been so hurt in life that we don't know how to receive love even when it is there. we distort it in our minds to something that is more familiar because it keeps us in control.
we can't control love but we can receive it.
