My life is also in shambles. I used to be very "high functioning," got a master's degree, worked as a full-time lecturer at a university, drove, and maintained myself.

Since then, divorce, current marriage heading towards divorce, bankruptcy, ten or so 5150's, was homeless for a while, criminal legal problems, living in almost total isolation, etc.

I still have dreams (literally) of going back to school for my PhD. I have that dream quite often. When I wake up it hits me again that there's no way I'm going to get a PhD. Not in my current state and with all the meds eroding my intellect and ability to be creative.

A thought occurred to me recently. I'm doing pretty well for a homeless guy. I have a roof over my head. I (barely) get food and other necessities. I have entertainment even (primarily internet). I lack the creature comforts most others enjoy while on a disability income but the key for me was adjusting to a new lifestyle and learning to cope with less rather than more.

In other words, I've got a severe (imo) mental illness and I was hospital hopping for several years but my emotional state has calmed down a lot in the last two years. There is a new me, and I had to learn how to be the new me. It took time but it happened. I would not know how the story of my life would turn out if I suddenly put a stop to the story.