I often attribute *my* feelings to *T*

During our rupture of last summer, I was SURE T was pulling away. I've never felt more sure of anything. We were in the beginning of the awfulness of telling the CSA story and he was going on lots of breaks, and it was a big pile of YUCK. Of course T would be pulling away - I was telling this awful stuff, it was "too much", T had other things (other clients, his vacations, etc) to attend to. It felt SO TRUE.

Finally, at the end of the summer, T said "what would you gain by pulling away from ME?" and a lightbulb totally went on. *I* was pulling away, not him.

That's not the first (or last) time that has happened in my therapy. My fears are SO big that I can't believe that there could be any other reality that whatever it is that I'm afraid of.

Your post reminded me of that, peaches. Perhaps *you* were uncomfortable with what you expressed?

As for T mulling over whether she had issues with the big emotions - I think that is just a sign of a good T. she didn't say "oh NO that couldn't be true!" - she was willing to pause and look at herself to see if it felt true. my T does that and I appreciate it, because it feels very honest and authentic.

((((((((peaches)))))))))))