Oh my gosh! I can see now what is meant by "all or nothing" thinking.

hope you don't mind peaches, but in this here:

something has to happen EVERY time or else it's all null and void. (all or nothing.... wow that is quite a feat for others to fullfill for us!) The person doesn't see the inbetween.... it's a thought distortion. (I do this sometimes too, I think I'm getting better at realizing it)

a simplified idea ---It's like seeing a recliner chair that is blue and so one believes recliners=blue..... if a red one appears then it can't be a recliner-- because it's not blue.
.... like anticipating bad from people,(people = hurt) then they are nice, then they are not nice-- the person is therefore not nice.... because that is what is in ones mind. (people = hurt)..... it doesn't matter how nice they were before.... that person is not nice.
the mind is searching for that hurt.....and so will work hard on interpreting hurt when/wherever it can-- so it can be right.

that which one seeks- shall be found.

I hope I've not offended..... this is not the intention....
I just can see so clear how the "all or nothing" thinking is in this example you gave. and thought I'd mentioned it in case it could help you and/or others....plus myself

best to you

fins