I am sorry you are under so much stress right now donna. I commend you for coming here for some understanding and support.

Shakti has given you a good glimpse of what it is like to live with Bi Polar from the perspective of one coping with the condition. I too lost a great career due to the symptoms. I only recently came out of a year long depression that had me totally debilitated. Before that there were many other episodes of depression mixed with periods of mania and periods of mixed moods and rapid cycling. I was all over the place with symptoms. I left my job in 2003 when other health issues magnified my Bi Polar symptoms to the point that I couldn't function at all anymore. The anxiety had escellated to the point where I couldn't communicate without crying uncontrollable due to the stress of trying and I couldn't focus well enough to do much of anything.

Now that this particular episode of depression has broken I am more engaged in life but I don't know how long it will last so it is difficult to commit to much right now. I take it one day at a time living as 'normally' as I can while being cautious of potential triggers and attentive to my self care.

Work will not likely be possible for your husband at least not until the depression breaks. Professional help might be the only thing you can encourage him to do right now to help. If he joined us here we might also be able to encourage him in that direction. Finding out one is not alone is so valuable. Everyone who comes here will say that. For many it is the first step to looking for help elsewhere.

I know how hard this kind of stress can be on you and on your marriage. My marriage didn't survive my battle with Bi Polar. Hopefully you can get the communication happening with your husband soon enough so that together you can figure out what you can do towards that eventual goal of a return to some sort of employability.

For an income I now work from home as a management consultant. It allows me to accommodate my symptoms. I am not yet able to return to the workforce on a daily basis. I may never be able so I do what I can with the skills I have to work when I can. I have downsized my lifestyle significantly to live within my more modest means.

There is a lot of information to be found on PsychCentral about Bi Polar that might help you understand the condition and its symptoms so that you are better informed to identify what you and your husband can do moving forward. You might also be able to learn about the condition from your own family doctor or mental health agencies. Knowledge is power so start there and see where it can take you.

It isn't all hopeless but it is a long journey that needs to be managed day by day.

Wishing you well. We are here to support you.