(((((((((((((sj))))))))))))))))) You are not dirty, unloved or stupid. You are a victim and it was done to you not by you. I too recently felt all of the things you write about. Sometimes it gets to be too overwhelming to tell your story and you just need to give your mind some time to ready itself. It will come but it takes time. You will be strong enough when the time is right.

I still have some trouble feeling safe. My therapist is helping me feel safe again by self visualization (safe place), feeling safe in her office and helping me ground myself when I get too overwhelmed. I journal every day and have found this is a good way to express the feelings I have a hard time speaking about.. I hope you find this place again soon.

Please don't stop posting. We are here to support you the best we can. I hate to see you lose this too.I am here if you ever need someone to talk to. Please take care of yourself.