That is a lot to deal with and I can understand the frustration, depression, anxiety and overwhelming feelings.
For me, every treatment was new and different and scared the crap-o-la out of me. I never knew how I would feel, if it would work, if I would have a bad reaction, etc. I would find something that worked for a while and then it would stop working. There goes more frustration, anxiety, fear, etc. I am trying to work with a new treatment now with a new pdoc and for the first time I feel like it might work. He is the best Bipolar pdoc in the area and has helped so many people I know that I have to have faith it will work.
I hate to say it, but it's a wait and see game. BUT, while you are waiting, try to do what you can for yourself to keep occupied. If you sit and think too much, you might just make it harder for yourself.
I hope you find something that works for you very soon because you deserve it!