I am desperately looking for help. I am engaged to a wonderful woman who was in the past in an abusive marriage. I know it was emotional and verbal abusive. It may even go further, I am not sure, since she has really not opened up about this area of her life. We have known one another for 15 years or so. We were both married before and had some issues from our pasts. Our relationship progressed well in a healthy manner taking into consideration both of our needs and issues from the past. We both commented on how so many people are quick to give up on people like us with "issues". We actually were probably brought closer by some of the similar issues we have experinced in our past and the ability to relate to one another as well as be considerate of one another. Everything went well all the way up to getting engaged. Even then she was very happy, making plans for the wedding and all. Then from what I have read so far it seems that she had some type of post traumatic episode stemming from her past abusive relationship. She herself was totally blindsided as well. Even now she says she loves me dearly, has no reason to distrust me and wants to marry me, but she is scared to death. I have reassured her of my love for her and my patient support. I think she will act on my encouragement to seek help from a counselor who specializes in this type of thing. The reason I am posting here is I need some help to be able to support her. I am looking for any resources, books or whatever that can help me in understanding as well as helping me to know what I should actually do for her, though I realize the counseling is key. But I really need help to be able to be there for her. She is truely an amazing girl and is worth all the effort. Please help me, so I can be there for her.
Sincerely,
Steven