sorry you feel like this OhseeDee - I'm very new to this, but even so my patienc eis running thin. My new meds I thought were wonder drugs. But I think they just spun me into mania - well, all of a sudden I wasn't the quiet girl in the corner; I was a joker, witty, driven, loud, bouncy; people noticed me.
Now I think I'm coming crashing down after only 4 days and I'm quite and reserved. I feel like things around me are carrying on, but I'm not. I feel as if I'm just on auto-pilot.
But we have to keep holding onto that procarious silken thread and trust that a solution for us is out there.
DOn;t feel guilty for being in hospital - they won't keep longer than needed. And at least this way you can tackle this beast with vigour!
HUGS!