Hi all,

Just a little rant here, but anybody who's at this stage, or who has been here, I'd love some advice.

I've improved A LOT since last time I was on here which was maybe a year ago? ... That's probably totally inaccurate. Last time I was posting here I was having all kinds of ups and downs (mostly downs). I think this is beginning again because my shrink retired and now I'm doing that fun search for someone else...

Meanwhile, with the help of meds and an amazing therapist, I'm learning to recognize the beginnings of a temper tantrum. But that's as far as I've gotten - sure that's progress - but I'm tired of not being able to keep it inside sometimes!!

Like just now there was a very frustrating situation at work. I didn't go nuts or anything, but I was suddenly very *****y and short with everyone, even those who were trying to help me out. These days I'm aware that I'm doing this while it's happening, but that doesn't stop me from being a total b**ch to everyone. (I'm not sure if we can use these words on here?)

Part of this situation involved me driving, which was inevitable, and I was relatively calm (relative to past situations like this) and was able to drive not like a crazy manic fool.

So now I'm fine because the situation has been resolved, and I'm looking back to an hour ago, thinking, "Why couldn't I just deal with it internally and not let on that I have some serious emotional instabilities?"

-RK