WLFTW......I am clinging to your story like a lifeline. You have been through an incredible amount of difficulty, but you are here giving me( and anyone else like me) hope. I know my mental illness is extremely severe......my therapist cannot go any further with me. I truly am hanging on by a thread and I fear long term hospitalization, but I don't even know what that means. I have been in three times and back out within a week, because of insurance and because that is how things are done now. I'm very frightened, but not thinking bad thoughts. I could never put my husband and son through that again. The difference is that this time meds are trying to work for me......the last time I had no help and no control over my psychosis. The internet, PC, is my primary entertainment as well......just don't know how I would get through each day without you guys. Please know that your posts are everything to me, and WLFTW, your spirit is ringing through loud and clear. Thank you ever so much for sending that message.......greylove