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I have been in therapy for so long. I have major self esteem issues . And no matter how much my therapist ( who I refer to as my BFF that I have to pay) Tells me that I am worth it and I am beautiful and my outfit looks nice. I don't believe her. I tell her she has to say those things because she is a therapist. Of course she gets upset about that. I have been trying to catch myself in the act. But sometimes the damage is already done. I wrote something in the journal I started a day or so ago. I am really serious about getting better.
(Self confidence? What is that and where do i find it?
Insecurity? How the heck do I tame that beast?)
I am really tired of being this way. I am tired of reliving all the traumas day after day . and I am to afarid to go to a face to face support group. That only increases my anxiety.
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Midnight Star
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