greylove,

Your situation is very moving because it's similar to issues I have faced.

It can get better. Speaking from experience. It comes down to patience and tenacity. It is very hard to have a mental illness, very hard to be patient, and very hard to be tenacious. There is hope of recovery and I wish the road to recovery wasn't so hard. I was diagnosed with major depression back in 2000 and have gone through so many treatment options; I was very frustrated and I gave up on psychiatry more than once.

There really is a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel that conviction very strongly.



Winston

PS I came across a video containing clips from the move the Last Samurai about one of the characters named Captain Aldrun, played by Tom Cruise. I don't recommend this clip if seeing violence adversely affects you. I am deeply moved every time I see this because I relate to Cpt. Aldrun very much. It's only that his tenacity that he exhibits in the fights in the clip reminds me of myself. This war (or, as I sometimes call it, brain storm) has raged in my mind for some time now and I feel like a warrior defending and fighting for my own sanity. I consider the clip to be an apt metaphor for my own mental/emotional struggles and the never say die attitude. Again, don't watch this if you're squeamish as it potentially is a trigger.