Hester, you are very gracious in your responses to me. I know I come across as too opinionated and even judgmental. After I posted this last message, I was thinking, Oh my gosh, I've been too forceful and offensive.

I can understand the tightrope you are walking with the work situation. I agree that employment in another location would be beneficial. I really hope you can manage to do this, for your own well-being, rather than trying to gradually manage to tactfully withdraw as a friend from this man, whom I feel is a user. Sorry, there I go again! But your recent post in which you described him..." he blows hot and cold. for weeks he will act very close to me, then out of the blue he will be cold and angry, for no reason i can think of." ....the whole message you wrote, actually, spoke volumes about his character (or lack of).

This kind of relationship is like a drug, and very hard to withdraw from...actually "withdrawal" is what you will probably feel.
The most healthy scenario for you would be to find yourself completely removed from his presence, i.e., another work situation. My thought is that you don't need to offer him kindness or friendship, though that may be how you feel toward him.

Well, I could go on and on here, but it would sound bossy. Forgive me for this, if you can. I just truly do know what you're going thru, and how hard it can be. Be strong, girl!
Patty