I know you say you love him, but I don't get how that happens once you find out something disturbing like this? I assume he was doing it when you first met/started living together or whatever. I would be repulsed, especially if he was pretending to be me. It sounds very complicated and time consuming too; where is a "normal" relationship that allows for mature love and sharing?

I love my husband and have been married over 20 years but if his sexual interests took him to the Internet and convoluted lies to have cyber sex, not to mention phone sex??? I'd be separating real fast, especially if he was lying/defending/not agreeing to therapy, etc. I don't personally want to be around that and it's my life I'm living.