Hi sleepless0x,

I agree with Perna about the dr's appt. Do you have a therapist or someone you can talk to? I know you say you have a lot of feelings of love for this guy but if you re-read your post... this sounds like abuse to me. The fact that he was being so rough (after coming home drunk) and also that he shut your computer on you. I urge you to take some time to really think about this - and find someone to talk to who will listen without judgement like a counselor or social worker. This relationship sounds like it has some troublesome (seriously troublesome) parts to it. There are definitely other fish in the sea. This guy sounds like he puts you down and doesn't appreciate you or care when you're not feeling well. The part about oral sex every day or he gets angry? Try to imagine what you would say to yourself if you were (instead) a good friend in the same situation (be honest). Sending you caring thoughts.

E