well, here is another character assesment i can't believe. when his last girlfriend got too "clingy" he took her out to dinner, home to bed, then told her he wasn't going to see her for a few months.
how cold is that? i suppose he thought it was tactful..good god. i told him (we were at work, so i couldn't really say too much more) never do me that way. just tell me what you have to say and be done with it. i would feel even more used, and i would hate him for it.
there is no "goodbye sex" in my world.
i am seeing him sat nite, another nite when hub thinks i am working. i am going to tell him then. really, i'm kind of hoping he beats me to it and just ends it, it will be easier for me than to have to be the one to do it. if i do it, the chase will just begin again, since i am basically trapped at this job.
i think underneath it all, he's a decent person who has become drastically changed due to his alcoholism and insecurities. but i have neither the time, nor the emotional strength to deal with it anymore. i am tired of thinking about it, tired of waiting expectantly for the days we work together, tired of the lies, the guilt, tired of just about everything except the few hours of fun i have in the morning after work, and i'm not talking sex.
sex is weird with someone with ED. none of the usual signs are there, you can't tell if he's enjoying himself or not til he climaxes, and i'm tired of that too.