((((Peaches))))
...warning...if you are not in a good place, this might be a trigger....
Quote:
|
i can't get rid of the feeling that it's not real, that she's just doing it because it's her job to help me feel good, and that i really don't have any significance to her at all. So when she slips and says or does something to hurt my feelings, I wonder if that's her true feelings toward me slipping out and showing.
|
Reading this I had a flash of you as a little girl with your abuser. Listening to an 'authority figure' tell you things to help you feel good, and then using that good feeling to hurt you. As a survival mechanism, you probably had to learn to look behind people's words and try to find their 'real meanings'.
I don't mean to say you view T as your abuser, but T is also an authority figure. You did learn at a young age to be wary of mixed messages or authority figures telling you 'everything will be fine'.
If this does not help, please disregard and just accept my support.
