Had racing thoughts last night. This made me very nervous because I don't want to go full manic again. I was about to drive myself to the hospital but I opted to go to the support group that I go to on Thursday nights. I got a good night of sleep and that seemed to help today.

I decided to come clean with my wife and admit that I've be rapid cycling over the last week (we're separated). She told me that she knew I was going a little manic because of my quick speech and the frenetic content of the messages I left her.

It's been a little over a week since I've increased the dosage of lithium and resumed taking Geodon and I think it's starting to stabilize me. I tried to get a hold of my pdoc today just to run by my condition to her but I was a little miffed that she didn't return my call. Now I will have to wait until Tuesday for another attempt.

I'll take life as it happens but I just hope I don't wind up fully manic again. Also, I hope to avoid a hospital stay. I'll do it if is necessary though. My best hope is for renewed stability. I know other people on this site have some similar struggles. I wish them well. It's good to know that I'm not alone. Sorry for the long post, just needed to vent.