I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. It is sad that you are left to process those feelings alone. I think you are wise to move home and get a break from your bf and his abuse. I agree with what has already been suggested about you needing to attend to your physcial health issues. That is the only way you are going to have the mental and emotional capacity to deal with the issues with your boyfriend.

Wishing you well. Take good care of you hun.