Welcome to the Community, WarriorPrincess23. I agree that you may benefit from therapy.
The Steps to Better Self-Esteem Forum is here:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=34
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/ment...nal_health.htm
http://www.mental-health-matters.com...ss&Itemid=1916
http://cmhc.utexas.edu/booklets/selfesteem/selfest.html
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/assertive/SR00042
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Assertive-...Being-Arrogant
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But I'm getting exhausted. He doesn't understand me, and doesn't care to. I need so much that he is not giving me, that he thinks I'm wrong and unreasonable to want. I don't want to insult the many, many independent and high-functioning Aspies out there, but a lot of us actually do need a greater-than-average degree of being taken care of...yet I'm the one doing the caring and providing. I'm not independent enough for this.
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Having agreed with Perna, I also agree with you. Your husband will take but will not give. At some point I hope he is willing to go to therapy to work at attaining a relationship that is more beneficial to both of you.
Getting him there could be quite difficult:
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Neurotypical individuals often assume that their experience of the world is either the only one, or the only correct one
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http://www.neuro-typical.com/about.html
http://www.righthealth.com/topic/Neurotypical
Since he believes only he has the correct answers, you are facing a very troublesome situation. Moreover, since he may have to learn step by step to recognize and appropriately respond to your needs, the process will take a lot of patience and time.
I admire your gumption and wish you the best. Remember to take care of yourself too.