Mostly that's what we all want--for it to go away. So you are not alone there. You've been in hospital for a while now, and while it may be very very frustrating, it's the safest best place for you...and if you try to kill yourself and fail, you'll be there again. If you succeed, you'll be there anyway...in the morgue. Please be patient and know that we ALL know this feeling and we all definitely can relate. This is so difficult, this hand we've been dealt, but:

YOUR ILLNESS IS LYING TO YOU.

Really. It is.

Stay safe, ok? TELL someone in hospital (like a doctor, not a friend) about your urges (if you haven't already). And oh my GOSH, yes, of course--changes in meds are HARD. That may account for every bit of how you feel right now. Again, mention it to your doc. If nothing else they may just more closely monitor you. Or maybe an increase in the Cymbalta puts you at a level where it is just too high for you. I'm like that with a lot of meds: lower can be better with some. For me anyway. Talk to your doctors and please please stay safe.



I wish there was a big infinite bucket we could all dump our inappropriate sadness into. But there's not. We have what we have. Don't give up.

If nothing else, if you are not 100000000% honest (not that I'm saying you aren't, but DUMP it all on 'em! That's what they are there for!!) with your doctors they cannot help you get to where you need to be. And keep your expectations realistic. There will probably always be challenges. But try to have hope. Trite words when we feel so ******, I know, but we're in this together, all millions of us with mental illnesses. We're not alone. YOU are not alone.