((OHSEEDEE)) - I'm so sorry my friend.
I can only echo what's been said - you're in hospital so ask them for help. You've come so far, you really cannot even think about bailing out now.
Cut yourself some slack; I'm sure the meds are also giving you a hard time.
But please hang in there and check in with us regularly.
We all love you dearly - you are not alone. You know that this depression and these thoughts will pass.
And the lovely things you did this weekend, on your pass, will all be a normal part of your life once you are discharged - now that's something to look forward to!