Hi,
(((((Ohseedee)))))
I am sorry you are feeling as you do.
when I came out of hospital it was really hard. sounds like you need to have a lot of daily support in place when ready to go home, which i didnt have.

What i experienced is people so wanted me to be better and i didnt want to disappoint them so didnt tell them. that didnt help

Please talk to them about how you feel and what is really going on for you.
xx Chris.