Fallen,

*HUGS* I am so sorry to hear that your family has treated you this way. I know firsthand how this feels. My father passed away last year, and the only time they call or email me is when they want something. Recently I stopped answering those calls because I refuse to be used by them. They didn't want me around for the past two years of his life, they don't get me now that he is gone. I haven't had them around to grieve with either. But thats ok. Because the person they grieve is someone they didn't know because they were too busy living their lives away from him. I took care of my dad except for the past two years he was alive. I knew him and his heart. Fortunately I got to be there and hold his hand as he passed away. They did allow me that. And a couple months before he passed away, I got to talk to him at a family reunion in length. It was one of the best things I could have done because we got to air some things out.

The things that have helped me to move on are to remember those good and bad things. The lessons I learned from them. And the memories of the good things dad and I used to do together and I go out and still do them. Like fishing and gardening etc. Do those things that make you feel close to him. I think it will help. And its going to take awhile for you to grieve, but it gradually gets better. We will always miss our loved ones no matter what we do. And there will be those days, anniversaries, birthdays Father's Day that will get to us... but it will gradually lessen. Give yourself some time, love and patience. Hope this helps. Thinking of you.