Thank you everyone,

Yesterday I DID run away from hospital, with intent to kill myself. But as I was running away, I realized I was coming closer to my best friend's house and instead went there. We talked for a bit, and he drove me back. I told my doc about everything...how I felt on the weekend and why I ran away. He's taking me off the Cymbalta, he told me that anti-depressants are NOT for me...we will stick with anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers. He has also taken away all outdoor passes for now, and has put me on a Form so I have to stay for at least two weeks.

I am still feeling suicidal, but not as strongly. My father is very angry with me for what I've done, but at this point I just can't deal with that right now. We are also wondering if ECT is a good option right now.