Hi Lauru. I have missed you. I'm sorry to hear you feel a bad spell coming on. It seems bleak and I know it's easy for me to say that this too shall pass, but it does. Our moods are ever shifting with the winds. I've had depression from marginal to severe since October when my last manic period ended. Some days are horrific and other days, like today, make it seem bearable and like all the rest of that was just a bad dream. Staying in the moment is the hardest thing to do, but it's what I strive for to keep me from getting stuck in these anxious and depressed feelings. Keeping busy is how I trick my brain from going to the deep dark thoughts. But medication and therapy is certainly what's allowing me to even have that coping skill.
Is there any way for you to find a new therapist? Is she gone as in left her practice? Starting all over sucks. I know. But you do need a professional to talk to. We're here for you in the meantime. Stay in touch.
Big hugs