Ohseedee. I am so sorry that things have been so tough on you! I just got out of the hospital because I OD'ed. I promise you that trying to end your life is not the answer. I know how hard it is but, you are in the right place for now so keep your head up and keep trying. It will get better for the both of us! I'm so glad that I joined this site and met you! You have to keep pushing forward. All of us do! We at least have each other!