I have an appointment in two days with my psychiatrist and I'm not even sure what to tell him about how I've been feeling. I was put on a tri-cyclic antidepressant to help me sleep at the beginning of my treatment and that made me manic... since then I've had a mood stabilizer and antipsychotic added, but my moods have been changing from one extreme to another so quickly and frequently that I don't even know if the medication is helping. I've never experienced this. I'm manic one minute and wanting to tell the doctor that I'm fine to feeling so depressed I don't even want to continue treatment the next minute. I'm just so mixed up. I was so used to months of debilitating depression followed by weeks of mania. I'm not used to this.

I have PTSD too, and some days the anxiety is so bad I want to (and do) just curl up in my bed and cry while other days I can go out and be around people and be perfectly okay.

How long is it going to take to just feel normal or even just ok? I've been on medication for 2 months now, I had hoped it would have made a noticeable difference by now... and I suppose it has, I just don't like the difference its made.

I guess I just needed to vent, try to organize my thoughts because right now they are fluttering in and out of my head like crazy.