I am glad I have found this forum. I really didn't know that there was online help/like minded people out there that I could talk to. I'm having a really bad week. I've never meet anyone with my diagnosis and it is nice to have at least people online that have BPD as well to relate to and chat with. I sometimes feel that all the therapy in the world will never help in the end. I have been in therapy so long and I know that I am better now than I was 10 years ago but it doesn't take away from the fact that things are still broken. I'm still broken and its hard to feel that things will ever feel right. I have been seeing the same therapist for six years and now she retired. And I've been handed over to someone else. I'm sure it will be ok but its hard to know that I have to get to know someone new and they have to get to know me, I feel annoyed by this. I use to self harm by cutting my arms and haven't cut for a year now. But I had a dream the other night that I did cut and it felt strange when I woke up and I wanted to start again. I haven't because I work one day a week and don't want to wear long sleeves for months at a time but I still would love to cut and feel that relief and calm that I get from it. Just fustrated.