Okay - This is a very long story that I will attempt to shorten to just the main facts.

I've been married for 20 years. I love my husband and he loves me. We have always had a good relationship, but it has always been uneven.

What I mean by that is - the first 10-15 years of our marriage, I took care of all the responsible stuff - paid bills, took care of the housecleaning, groceries, cooking, ran errands that needed to be done, etc. His attitude was that most of that stuff can wait until he "felt like" doing it. My attitude was that if you don't take care of things, they will build up and cause more work later. For reasons I can't explain quickly or easily, our roles have reversed. He takes care of errands and bills and the "responsible" stuff. I still clean house, cook, grocery shop, but I have become less **** about how it is done or when it is done. He doesn't like this.

So, he works full time at a very responsible position and deals with stress at work. I am working part time as needed at a local college. I am and have been looking for another job to bring in more money, but I can't find a place to hire me - I'm overqualified, I'm over-educated, or I don't have any experience. I'm a college teacher. I'm a darn good teacher. I tried teaching high school, but I was miserable...not enough teaching and too much b.s. My husband didn't like the way I behaved or my stress level when I was teaching high school, so I went back to teaching college - part time, as needed. But we can't make it ends meet when I'm not teaching in between semesters and during the summer, so he is increasingly stressed and angry. He's angry at me because I haven't found another job, a better job, or any job...any money. I understand his frustration, but I can't face walking the hot pavement every day for hours begging for a job. I've tried. I've failed. I feel bad enough that I am not contributing enough money to our household, but that doesn't stop him from being mad at me and disappointed in me all the time. There's a lot more to why I'm in this place in my career....I've had full time college teaching jobs, but not in Corpus. It never lasts more than a few months before my husband is miserable because he is living somewhere other than Corpus. So...we come back here where I can't get a full time job and he gets angry and disappointed. As much as I love him, I'm so sick of this cycle that I'm ready to just leave....but I have no where else to go.