(((((((((((peaches)))))))))))))

i also think you your feelings are something to explore further with T. i hear so much pain in your post and i'm so sorry for that. but, i think your pain is distorting what really happened. this is what you said in your other email:


peaches, do you think you can notice how you've completely truncated what she originally said down to "i'm too busy to respond to this"? she was too busy to respond to your email at that time. that is just saying hey, my sister is getting out of the hospital and i will respond but i can't right now because i'm dealing with a quite sick family member. she was likely very concerned about her sister and giving her full attention to her as i think she needed to. she was calling to reassure you she would respond when she had a free moment. she wasn't saying she wouldn't respond at all as you seem to now be thinking. what you have remembered her saying is not the whole story of what happened. is it possible you are so scared as to how she will respond that you unconsciously create these ruptures so she doesn't ever get to respond? that is just a guess on my part so if it doesn't fit please disregard it.

i don't think anyone can be there for us in life 24/7 exactly as we would like, but your T is not like your mom who obviously neglected you. when you mentioned awhile back that your T plans on continuing to see you after she retires that to me shows she cares about you so very, very much. that is just a huge thing for any T to do and i think it really shows her true colors. how many other Ts would do that? i'm guessing none or 1 or 2 at the absolute most. i think sometimes we've been so hurt in life that we don't know how to receive love even when it is there. we distort it in our minds to something that is more familiar because it keeps us in control.

we can't control love but we can receive it.