I think it's important for you to know that although your husband wants to put this all on your bipolar, it's really just an excuse.

He could make the choice of working this through with you, learning about it, helping you while he helps himself, etc. This is not about your bipolar, this is about his selfishness.

Seven years ago, my husband walked out on me...out of the blue...confessing an affair that had been going on for months, I found out later. Your husband having someone lined up to date only means that he's been planning this, has a safety net in place, and has decided that now you can know about it. He's shooting from the hip, not even thinking about consequences, and when you show him the door, it won't take long for him to see how he screwed everything up.

Your best defense now is to continue taking care of YOU. Don't plead with him, beg him, or cry to him. He will use that against you and it won't change anything. Instead, gather all your financial stuff, start reaching out to womens shelters/organizations, etc. If you work, get yourself a separate bank account and do not let him get to it.

Don't get me wrong, what I'm saying has nothing to do with love...and it sure isn't about divorce. It's simply what I learned when I was in your shoes 7 years ago. I ended up on Effexor when that happened and I swore to myself that never again would I succumb like that because of another person.

My kids were fairly young at the time also, and I had to get over myself to take care of them.