You very well might just have to learn to adjust yourself. While mental illness is not a choice, unlike drug addiction etc., you can still be an enabler. Provided she has access to the help and resources she needs and she declines them, that is. That's kind of a big if (that she has those resources). But regardless, you can only do so much and she's an adult. It's hard to realize that there is only so much we can do. Sometimes all we have to give is love and love, while wonderful and beautiful and essential and often healing, is not a cure or a treatment. She has to take an active part in her welfare and she has to WANT to get well.

You can't fix this. Realize that now. It's a sucky and difficult thing to realize--especially in regard to our children, for whom we want the best and are sometime irrational about, but you can NOT fix this. Repeat that to yourself. Then tell her that.

The insurance thing is really awful. This nation is an embarrassment when it comes to medical care and even more so when it comes to the way we handle mental illness and the mentally ill. It's just heartbreaking. I had to leave my son behind to come to a state where I could get insurance. He'll be here in four weeks, but we've been separated for four months and that is the longest we have ever gone. We've never been apart before. Thank goodness where I came to is our home state, so that's a good thing, but the separation has been so hard. And not easy on my bipolar at all. His birthday is in a few days and he'll be 14. I've never missed a birthday before. And all because this was the only way to get some sort of treatment. It's a sick state of affairs. It disgusts me.

There must be some other resources (hoping, hoping, hoping). It's a long shot maybe, but have you looked into Easter Seals? They may have resources or be able to point you in the right direction. She needs to cooperate with her case manager because if anyone can help her find resources for treatment and meds, that's probably her best bet.

The Abilify is ridiculously priced. When I first got here and didn't have insurance yet they wanted me on it and quoted me I think about $800 a month. Yeah, right.

But you got it right: you can't fix this.