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Well as sad as it is to say, I did it. Idk why, its been on my mind.
Me and my dad got in an argument, and of course, I got the crap beat out of me. Nobody would help me, not even my own family that was sitting there watching.
I just ran up stairs and seen a knife that I keep in my room, because i'm so scared of my dad....And thats how it happened. I loved it, and do regret it, but I promised many people (And myself) that I will not do it again. My friends and bf and supporting me in every way, though there mad I did it, there not going to leave my side, that alone gives me a HUGE reason not to do it anymore.
Though its not just my family that made me want to do it.
I had a really good friend that died last year, he cutt himself really deep, and he ended up having a cezure ( though he had those often) and it split open and he bled to death.
I know this sounds ****ed up, but I wanted to feel what he was going threw, it was like I wanted his pain, I wanted to know what he was going threw and why he did it.
But then again, I cant help the feeling of wanting to do it again....
I just feel like such a psychopath from wanting to do it to feel someone elses pain, and I knew that it was going to cause others around me pain, but I still did it. What the hell is wrong with me?
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I can feel you all around me Thickening the air i'm breathing Holding on to what i'm feeling Savoring this heart thats healing
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