Melbadaze,

I get your point. I'm not sure you get mine. This was a catharsis for me. Though I will say that it sounds like you have never been bullied or I don't think you would a comment that belittles those who have suffered being beaten and bullied most of their life. Those who don't get it, just don't get it.

For me this showed me the chain of where and how the whole thing started for me and how it shaped part of me. As an adult trying to be assertive when one feels like running away because they have never dealt with being bullied it feels amazing when everything falls into place about why certain things are the way they are.

I don't expect you to understand and thats ok. But people no matter who they are come into our lives for a reason and this person came into mine to help me connect the dots at this time in my life as to why some things are the way they are.

Women who are bullied as kids and then as wives rarely escape it at all and will often become reactive in a polarised way, it doesn't make them a bully, it shows that they don't know how to deal with what is happening. I'd rather now stand up for myself and let others judge me as a bully than allow someone to tear strips off me for no reason other than incorrectly percieved slights.

I love the Garbage Truck analogy it is similar to something I do in workshops. Give each person a stack of post it notes and tell them to write every negative thought or feeling they have over an afternoon evening and morning before they leave home the next day for the workshop onto a post it note and stick the notes to themselves. They are to come in the next day wearing their post it notes.

It may look amusing to see 20 people covered in post it notes but when I explain that they carry that with them from just about a 12 to 24 hour period, and all that is negative, they realise what they are holding on to and it brings some people to tears because they finally realise just how bottled up they really are.

Everyone deserves respect it isn't something that is just earned as is often imparted it is a human right; I do think that if something is overtly nasty it is going to evoke a reaction and the person who is being nasty shouldn't expect too much.

I hope you have a really great day and that smiles are thrown at you from all directions,

Rhia