Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah
Peaches, you are running off with this in your mind WITHOUT INVOLVING THE OTHER PERSON INVOLVED IN THE CONVERSATION - YOUR THERAPIST. Remember, you can't work something out with someone else in your head! Stop! If you want to work this out you must include the other person in the conversation or you are just going to go off in your head.
And remember this is about more than just this incident. This also includes all your past with your parents and all of those stuffed feelings that you had while growing up when your mother was in her own world and wasn't giving you the care that you needed and deserved.
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Hi Sannah,
Thanks for pointing out my tendency to create scenarios in my head without involving the other person. (You're my reality check! LOL!) It's just SOOO ingrained in me to do this. I know it must be because my parents are so secretive. They don't tell me about important things, like when they got divorced. I found out from my sister. And I always, always have had to try and guess what's going on in their head. So i guess i automatically do it with everybody. The other piece of it is that i often feel afraid to ask questions directly of people. I'm afraid of either putting them on the spot, or I'm afraid the answer will hurt or disappoint me. It seems safer to try to figure it out myself, but when i do that, it seems i get things all wrong. . .though it often "feels" like i'm right.