<font color="purple"> Sj, I do not feel a selfish bone in this post at all. YOu have thought this post out and you seem so sincer when you say what you have come to say to us all on here today.
I know how hard it is to deal with these thoughts you are having and I turlly understand why you want to do what youw want and I do understand the other side of this coin.
I have been on both sides just like you.
who would you call, Me for starters, your gf, and your T.
I have my husband after the 30 and today and the rest of my life and he is the only one I can call on anymore I have no one in my 3D world that I can call on if I get this way, Everyone has walked away from me.. So trsut me I fully understand how you feel..
Being this way is hard to be, and feeling these feelings are hard on all people we love in our lives.

Hang in there, it will get better for you.

Love and peace
Lady D. </font>