(((Dandelion8))) - I'm very sorry for the loss of your grandmother. She sounded like a wonderful woman. It's always difficult when we lose a loved one, but especially one who was a 'pillar' of the family. Does your mom see a therapist and on medication for her depression? I think you both would benefit from some grief counseling. It's normal to feel a gap since she was such an important person in your life. Hopefully she passed on some of her strength to you.