I am so sorry for your pain and sorrow.

My husband left me four years ago because he said he didn't love me anymore, thought I was going to suffer from depression for the rest of my life and said he couldn't make me better.

He had a great deal of anger, bitterness and animosity toward me that neither I nor my therapist nor the marriage counselor could understand. It turned out that he was (at least) having an emotional affair with a woman at work. I too think my husband was a terrible coward for having to use me as the excuse for why the marriage wouldn't work instead of recognizing and admitting his own feelings.

Guilt can bring out all sorts of unusual emotions in people. Often they don't even realize what is happening in their own heads. It has taken me these years to figure out some of these things. In the end, I can see that in my own situation his leaving was the best thing that could have happened to me. It opened up the whole world, and after about three years of being paralyzed, I have started taking advantage of the opportuunities the world has to offer. If I think about it, I can do most anything I want to if I apply myself, and I am.

When my mother divorced, it ruined her. She felt like a failure for the rest of her life. She drank herself to death. I lost her around the same time that my husband left. She was only 62.

Again, I am very sorry for your pain. I hope that with time things will work out for you and you will find peace in a new path.

Sending warm thoughts your way,
Poseygurl

"Life and death, loss and possession are one: There falls no shadow where there shines no sun."
- Shakespeare